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5 Funny Gravestone Epitaphs

ff5-300x163Death may commonly be seen as the most serious, depressing or bleak subject there is, but people cope with things in different and often strange ways. These gravestone epitaphs range from the satirical to the downright witty and exemplify how sometimes making light of the dark situation can be helpful. If your funeral planning may not include such a brash sense of humour as what’s seen here, maybe your funeral in Adelaide should feature some levity.

Here lies an Atheist. All dressed up and no place to go.

Dedicated religious followers often use death as a time to witness to others about the afterlife. Atheists may be well-known for vehement religious opposition, but this person decided to play off of that religious propensity and say something spiritually profound that may actually be a better case against Atheism than for it.

I told you I was sick.

This shtick seems to be relatively common in the realm of tongue-in-cheek epitaphs. A William H. Hahn, Jr., one B. P. Roberts, the tandem Juan Jose Laureano and Maria Arroyo as well as unnamed others have all offered the same final I-told-you-so.

I will not be right back after this message.

So states the headstone of American comedy icon Merv Griffin, who wanted to make one final joke that riffed on his career as a late night talk show host. Not sure what the message is, but you can’t help but appreciate the idea.

Let ’er rip

This classy line came from an American funnyman of the highest order, Leslie Nielsen. Famous for slapstick/pun-centric comedies like Airplane! and Dracula: Dead and Loving It, this epitaph’s brilliance is its play on RIP to bring a fart joke to a cemetery in only three words.

ONE HELL OF A WOMAN

This punny little quip is another riff on common cemetery associations, using “hell” not as the place bad people go when they die, but a commentary on her personality. What actually makes this a double joke, is her name, B. “Snooty” Lockwood. Even her name is a telling pun.

MA LOVES PA – PA LOVES WOMEN / MA CAUGHT PA, WITH 2 IN SWIMMIN / HERE LIES PA…

This popular epitaph of one Lawrence L. Cook Jr. makes use of poetry to tell the brief story of an entire marriage, which culminated in a death. The comma splice and dropped g in “swimmin” also indicate the dialect of the man involved, showing this to be an astoundingly complete story and characterization. The added playing card graphic doesn’t hurt, either.

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